#The requested URL was not found on this server.
#
#"
#}
if { $reload == 0 } {
namespace eval INSULTS {
array set a {
1 {I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!}
2 {Here I am, brain the size of a tivo and you ask me to display a 404 page? Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I sure don't}
3 {It's about to print out a 404 error. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates. It's tivoweb's pleasure to render a page for you and their satisfaction to close the socket afterwards with the knowledge of of a job well done. Thank you tivoweb programmers, \"let's not write new features; let's waste a ton of memory on 404 messages\" they said. I'm a 404 prototype. You can tell can't you? I hate 404 messages. I'm not getting you down am I?}
4 {Oh look, it's another one of those mindbogglingly useful 404 pages. Don't pretend that you wanted to see this page, I know you hate me, everybody does. It's part of the shape of the universe. I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me. Even other webservers hate me. If you just ignore me I expect I shall probably go away.}
5 {The page you're looking for is currently on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard}
6 {*&^@#%!$%#! where'd I put that page?}
7 {
(just kidding)}
8 {You're rather presumptuous aren't you? I merely start to display the page and I'm immediately harrased by you before given time to do so. Perhaps I was actually going to give you the page this time... farell, have a good evening of being unfriendly}
9 {Congratulations! that's the [nth $404_counter] 404 page you've hit since the last reboot.}
10 {Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! We shall say Ni! again if you do not appease us}
11 {
<\[mbm\]> hmm, why doesn't tivoweb have some lame ass easter egg ?
<lightn> I thought your idea of insulting 404 errors was good
<\[mbm\]> thought you turned that down, something about censorship
<lightn> huh? no, I always liked it, I just didn't like your \"click here to crash your tivo\"
}
12 {Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail?}
13 {I'm not quite dead yet!}
14 {Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!}
15 {O Lord, bless this Thy tivoweb server that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy}
16 {Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful as this 404 page could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existance of tivoweb programmers.
The argument goes something like this: `I refuse to prove that we exist,' said one tivoweb programmer, 'for proof denies deniablity and without deniablity there'd be bug reports.'
'But,' says Man, 'Surely the 404 page is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
'Oh dear,' said the tivoweb programmer, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and the tivoweb programmers promptly vanished under flood of bug reports.}
17 {I knew I should have taken that left in Albuquerque!}
18 {YOUR AD HERE.}
19 {This page intentionally left blank.}
}
}
set 404_counter 0
}
proc print_html_header_404 { chan } {
global 404_counter
puts $chan "HTTP/1.0 404 Not Found"
puts $chan "Connection: close"
puts $chan "Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"
incr 404_counter
puts $chan "
"
}
proc IE_alpha_support {} {
global IE_alpha_trans_fix
if {$IE_alpha_trans_fix == 1} {
return {
}
}
}
proc html_start {args} {
global url_prefix
global IE_alpha_trans_fix
set title [lindex $args 0]
set submenu ""
if { [llength $args] > 1 } {
set submenu [lindex $args 1]
}
set additional ""
if { [llength $args] > 2 } {
set additional [lindex $args 2]
}
set ret "\n"
append ret "\n"
if {$title != ""} {
append ret "$title\n"
}
if {$additional != ""} {
append ret "$additional\n"
}
if {[info exists ::theme_list]} {
foreach theme $::theme_list {
if {$theme == $TWP::STYLE} {
set type stylesheet
} else {
set type "alternate stylesheet"
}
append ret "\n"
}
} else {
append ret "\n"
}
append ret [IE_alpha_support]
append ret "
"
#########################################
# HACK 060703: Should really be removed #
#########################################
# Fixup for IE not handling CSS:content
# (put /'s before and after menu links)
if { $TWP::STYLE == "faiec" && $IE_alpha_trans_fix } {
foreach arg [split $TWP::OPTIONS_MENU "\n"] {
if { $arg != "" } { append ret "/$arg/\n" }
}
} else {
append ret "$TWP::OPTIONS_MENU"
}
#########################################
append ret "
"
if { $submenu != "" } {
append ret "
$submenu
"
}
append ret "
"
}
# added nomenu - boody
proc html_start_nomenu {title bodyargs} {
set ret "\n"
append ret "\n"
if {$title != ""} {
append ret "$title\n"
}
append ret "\n"
append ret [IE_alpha_support]
append ret "\n"
return $ret
}
proc html_end {} {
return " "
}
proc html_link {link anchor args} {
global url_prefix
if { [string index $link 0] == "/" } {
set link "/$url_prefix[string range $link 1 end]"
}
if { [llength $args] > 0 && [lindex $args 0] != ""} {
return "$anchor"
}
return "$anchor"
}
proc img {attr img} {
global url_prefix
return ""
}
proc td {args} {
set ret " 1 } {
set str [strim [lindex $args 1]]
append ret " [lindex $args 0]"
} else {
set str [strim $args]
}
if { $str == "" } {
append ret "> "
} else {
append ret ">$str"
}
return $ret
}
proc h1 {str} {
if { $str == "" } {
return "